The Gwynns: RIP Max

Today my beloved Max died. Words cannot express how sad I am right now. Pets have the ability to reach right into your heart and settle there.

Almost seven weeks ago, Max developed a large grapefruit sized lump on the right side of his neck. A couple of days later the vet told me it was lymphoma and that he had another smaller one on the left side. I tried, but I couldn't feel it. I knew that I wasn't going to do chemotherapy and so Brent and I decided to just take him home and love him.

It was hard to believe. In himself he was the same old Max...eating, drinking, peeing and pooping, barking and running around the garden just like always with his sister Sophie. When we've described Max to each other it was always that he was a character. So funny. We wanted to let him have a pampered last few weeks and so we gave him treats and gave him allowances that he's never had before. He very quickly took advantage! On my days off, he would go outside first thing in the morning and then he boldly tracked up the stairs into our bedroom where he settled until I'd watched some TV, read my book and done whatever else I needed to do for a couple of hours. He loved it!

I read all I could about doggie lymphoma and discovered that the average life expectancy was a mere 6-8 weeks. His cancer was pretty stable for about 4 of those weeks, but then it started growing rapidly and invading his body with lumps and skin sores everywhere: on his head, his mouth, his leg, his belly, but still he functioned as he always did and didn't seem to be in any pain. His appetite was good and he still moved pretty quickly when he heard the bread wrapper rustle.

On Sunday, I noticed him limping a little and when I looked, he had cancer sores developing on his back paws. I knew that the time was coming. The last thing Brent or I wanted was to see him in pain and selecting the "right" time for him to go to sleep was impossible, but I knew that I wanted him to have some dignity left at the end and essentially be the Max I knew.

When I came home from work today I could see he had deteriorated dramatically. The light was going out of his eyes. It was time. He enjoyed his last meal and finished it off with his favorite ice cream. He had the dignity I wanted for him. He was able to walk into the vets, and he laid there so calm and brave. We loved on him and stroked him as he went to sleep.

He has been the best dog ever, not great with children or strangers, I know, but to me, he has been so loving. He will be sadly missed by all of us and I wonder how his sister will cope. I feel for her. How do you explain to a dog that her brother has died?

I'm thankful for my memories of him and the photos and videos. He'll always have an extra special place in my heart and doggie heaven will be lucky to have him there.