Memorial Day

Memorial Day is a special time.
It's a time when we think about all those who have served our country to ensure the freedoms we enjoy.
It's a time for flying the flag.
It's a time for having parades and being patriotic.
It's a time to get together as families.
It's a time when we realize that the weather will only get hotter!

Here's our flag flying proudly outside our house on Memorial Day. I love to see them flying around our neighborhood...

 

...and here's our grandaughter Katelynn bringing up the rear in her Memorial Day parade in her little town in New York state. 

Love my Market!

Not sure if these pictures do it justice, but I love the deals at Superstition Ranch Market. I came back yesterday with a cart FULL of fruit and vegetables for $43 and barely had room in my fridge to put them! Broccoli, spinach, cucumbers, apples, pears, strawberries, peaches, peppers, parsley, to name just some of the bounty I got. Brent will juice some of the greens and I'll freeze some strawberries so we can have smoothies for a few months yet. Aren't fresh fruits and veg just great?

Temple Update

These aren't very good photos, the sun was blaring in my direction and I had a really hard time trying to get some shade to take the photo, but you can see the progress...the Angel Moroni is firmly in place and he looks glorious!!! I just love seeing the development as we drive by and I can't wait until the open house next year.

Desert Botanical Garden

I just love going to the Desert Botanical Garden. I love it even more when I get a half price deal from Groupon!We usually go in March when its a little cooler, so we didn't spend as much time there today as we usually do as it was way too hot. Here are some views that I haven't taken on previous visits. I especially loved the wild flower gardens.

President's Award

Michael has always loved to volunteer and serve our community. He started at the age of 14 when he became a Gilbert Police Explorer and he did until he was 21. Last August, he joined the Mesa Fire Department as a volunteer with the Connector program and committed to volunteering for 25 hours a month for one year.

Well, he far exceeds that commitment and last week he was honored by the Fire Department and received the President's Volunteer Service Award. He received a lovely certificate, pin, briefcase with the Mesa FD logo on it and a letter from President Obama.

On a funny note, when I told my mom of Michael receiving a letter from President Obama, she said that if Obama knew of the bad things Michael had said about him, he might not have sent him the letter. True. Also true is that Michael would have preferred to have a letter signed President Mitt Romney! Still, I'm very proud of him and his service to the community.

Got the bird?

This cute little man was walking on the wall outside my kitchen window today. He sure looks mighty fine with that plume on his head! Taking a picture through the window really doesn't do him justice at all though. He was so much more handsome in real life!

I think he is a Gambel's Quail, but I'm not quite sure!

Strike A Pose

We had Danielle overnight on Friday and she is growing up so quickly, you wouldn't believe it. One good thing is that she has just decided she likes to have her photo taken. Gone is the "pose for 5 seconds then turn away before the camera shutter has captured it" and in its place is "stand with a model pose and say cheese".
I must say, I prefer the latter approach.

Here she is posing under a tree at the Queen Creek Olive Mill. We went there to look at the advertised Farmers Market which they hold there every Saturday but it was a complete waste of time. Instead of the "market" that I envisioned, there was just one stall of highly overpriced organic produce. I think I'll keep on with the Superstition Ranch Market instead.

Oh, gotta have a profile shot!!!

Back at her house she decided it was time to accessorize and out came her pink flower headband and her pink heart sunglasses. See how they match her pink butterfly?

Aaahhh, the full effect. Of course it helps if you also strap yourself in to your baby doll's stroller.

Here is the said baby doll who looks like she is a victim of child abuse, but it's really only felt tip pen. Can you see the lovely shade of purple on Danielle's nails? It matches Grandma's toes!

Pool Time

It's still way too cold for me, but with a little bit of pushing and a whole lotta fun, Michael and Cassie got in the pool on Friday as the temperature outside reached about 100F. Brave souls!

My thoughts on Easter

Yesterday (Thursday) I woke up at 5 o'clock. Ironic really, as that was the time my father in law was due to be buried in England. I woke up filled with intense sadness and grief. As it was early and I didn't want to wake Brent up, I lay there silently willing myself to go back to sleep. It didn't work. I checked my phone and read some heartfelt comments that some of my family in England had made regarding their own emotions. Still, I couldn't sleep and still I felt so, so sad.

I believe that this life is not the end. I believe that my father in law had lived a full life and that he was happy where he now was. I believe that he was reunited with his beloved wife. Why did I feel so sad and grief stricken?

When Brent got up, I tried to busy myself by cleaning the house and doing other mundane chores, but I just got sadder as the morning went on and found it difficult to stop crying. Along with the sadness and grief I felt an intense disappointment. Disappointed that I couldn't be there at his graveside, disappointed that I hadn't been there sharing the last years of his life and disappointed that I wasn't able to be surrounded by family as we mourned the loss of our patriarch.

Perhaps it was love. Now don't get me wrong. Anyone who knew my father in law well would probably agree that at times he could be a very difficult man, but he was my husband's father and I loved and respected him for that. He taught me a lot about the Gospel and the church as we discussed scriptures together, did genealogical research and attended the temple. I also witnessed the love he had for my children, the happy times he shared with them as he taught them to fish and swim and walked in the Doggie Woods with them recollecting his own childhood.

Then, in the afternoon, something strange happened. I began to feel his presence very strongly. I rarely feel things like that. It's happened a few times before, but not often. My heart began getting full, so full of emotion, and all I could hear was my father in law telling me to focus on the Savior. Over and over. I was still crying, but my sadness transformed into happiness and a focus on my knowledge that my Redeemer lives. He has the power to calm my troubled heart, to wipe away my tears and to bless me beyond all measure.

I saw this picture on Pinterest (don't you just love Pinterest?) and thought about it a lot as the afternoon wore on. Our human life is just a moment in our existence. We came from God and we will go back to God. We're spiritual beings. We need to feed that spirit. We need to come to know Jesus Christ as our Savior and our Redeemer. I know that! I've known it for some time now, but yesterday my testimony grew.

By experiencing intense sorrow and grief, I was able to be in the position to listen for the whisperings of the Spirit. In my life they have sometimes come from answers to prayer, from reading the scriptures, listening to the prophet's voice or listening to the counsel of others. By listening to the voice of my father in law, I was able to turn my thoughts and emotions around and feed my spirit at this Easter time.

I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I know that when he went to Gethsemane, he did it for me. I know that he died and that when he was resurrected on the third day he opened the way for me to be able to live with my Heavenly Father again. He knows me by name. He loves me.

Happy Easter everyone! I hope you too feel of the Savior's love at this blessed time.

My thoughts on Grief

We're fortunate nowadays that we don't encounter death and dying the way our ancestors used to. In those days, death was a common place event. No one was exempt. Parents lost children, children lost parents. Through these experiences, tragic as they always are, they learnt about grief. They learnt how to come together as families and communities and through their various customs and beliefs, deal with their grief as they celebrated and remembered the life of their loved one.

I don't think that we're so good at dealing with grief anymore. Many of us have no fixed belief system to guide us through our emotional loss. We have no celebrated customs for the grieving period as our ancestors had and as families we're so spread out around the globe, that we hardly know each other any more, so how can we come together and understand each other?

I'm no expert on death and dying. I'm not an analyst or a grief counselor, but I have experienced the pains of death in my life. I have lost my father, a granddaughter, my brother, grandparents, aunts, parents in law as well as cherished pets and other friends and colleagues that I knew. Through the course of my work as a nurse, I have been privileged to have been present when some of my patients have unfortunately died. When you nurse a patient for many weeks and get to know them and their family well, their loss can really touch your heart. Always tragic and sad is the loss of a baby. When people visit the labor and delivery unit where I work, many comment on it being a happy place. I'm pleased to say it is, for the most part, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes a child is born before it had the chance to live. The grief of the parents and grandparents is always profound.

When I think about my own grief at these times in my life and have witnessed the grief of my family members, I have learnt that grief is different for everyone, and it's different at different times in our lives and even from day to day. We're all at different stages of our lives, with different exposures to death and grief. Depending on what is happening in our day to day life,  how strong we feel, or not, will determine how we cope with and express our grief. It's not dependent on how often we saw our loved one or when we last spoke, but on the countless times that we thought about that person on a daily basis. It's about what's in our heart that no one else can see.

The difficulty lies in our interactions with those who are grieving. Even our family members who we think we know well can be upset and hurt by our insensitive comments when we think they should feel or act a certain way. The way we feel. The way we would act. But how can they? They're not us and we're not them and we're not feeling the same as they are even though we might be grieving the same person. Each one of us expresses our grief in a different way, some privately, others publicly. When a loved one dies it's all to easy for family members to look around them and feel critical of anothers expressions or behaviors and react rashly. Comments, no matter how generic,  may be made that under normal circumstances are easily brushed off, but under the mantel of grief, are taken to heart. How many family relationships have been damaged or even severed at times like these?

If you're one of the few people who read this blog, you might be wondering if I have experienced critical feelings towards me during my current period of grief. The answer is no. I have not. I am just feeling sensitive to grief right now and have been thinking a lot about the different reactions to grief of those around me, how there is no right and there is no wrong. There is no perfect way of behaving. We just need to be super sensitive to others when they are in this delicate stage of their lives, especially if those people are ones with whom we want to have continued relationships.

Mainly, this post has been a catharsis for me. I was never a great one for keeping journals, but every now and then I get this burning desire to write something down as a way of working through my own emotions. Right now I just want to conclude that I feel much better for writing this. Perhaps I have resolved my own internal conflicts. Who knows?  I hope that going forward, whenever I encounter someone who is grieving, I will remember my own words and be sensitive, compassionate and empathetic. I will not judge and I will not measure their pain and grief against my own, for they can never be the same.


And if I go, while you’re still here…..
Know that I live on,
Vibrating to a different measure
Behind a thin veil you cannot
See through.
You will not see me,
So you must have faith.
I wait for the time when
We can soar together again,
Both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
…….I will be there.

~ Emily Dickinson